There, there. It will be okay. Cry it all out. Spot totally didn’t deserve you. I can’t believe he gave you the “it’s not you, it’s me” line.
You can do so much better. There are plenty of other doggies in the park. Don’t worry, next week, I’ll set you up with this handsome dog who has a full set of hair and doesn’t lick himself in public.
Do you want to play with the tennis ball? Will that make you feel better?
Add your funny caption here in the comments.