It’s me, Lucky. Thank you for my mom and dad. They are so nice and give me lots of food and water and a nice soft bed and they play with me. But, could you please send me some more beef jerky and dinner scraps? And can you toss in some more tennis balls? My tennis balls are getting really old and they smell like my fish breath. I promise to be a good dog and not pee or poo in the house when mom and dad aren’t around and promise to not rub myself on the bed or couch. I also won’t lick my privates anymore and won’t bark at the neighbor’s cat (because I know all God’s creatures are precious). And I won’t drool all over mom’s shoes either. Please please God — just a little jerky and perhaps some leftover steak and I will be the bestest dog ever. Amen.