The Cats’ Bill Of Rights

Cat sleeping

Every living creature has rights and here are some of a cat’s bill of rights (you must abide by them):

1. Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom of access, or the right to peaceful assembly. In other words: The cat is entitled to go outside anytime he wants.

2. A well-carried provisional chamber, being necessary to the fulfillment of a feline’s whims, shall not be infringed. In other words: The cat is entitled to EAT anytime he wants.

3. The right of the feline to be secure in their domain and effects against unreasonable discomposure, shall not be violated. In other words: The cat is entitled to SLEEP anytime he wants.

More bill of rights after the jump.

4. Humans shall issue no warrants or decrees or edicts as prescribed to the demarcation of possessions or property which are in direct conflict with right of life, liberty and the pursuit of feline affirmation. In other words: The cat is entitled to sleep ANYWHERE he wants.

5. The feline shall be immune to all criminal accusations, indictments and complaints. The accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and impartial dismissal of any and all charges provided said feline’s compulsory right to obtain any or all witnesses, including character witnesses, are obtained in his favor. In other words: Cats can do anything they want as long as it’s cute.

6. Neither serfdom, vassalage, or involuntary servitude will be tolerated, except by said cats in proprietorship of their humans. In other words: What I say goes. (And I say feed me… Again.)

7. No Canis familiaris shall, in time of peace or at any other time, be quartered in any dwelling without the consent of the potentate, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by sovereign. In other words: No dogs in the house without my permission.

8. The right of the feline to be protected against unreasonable search and seizures shall not be breached or infringed upon at anytime or any place. In other words: Don’t disturb me when I am sleeping.

Hmm… I thought cats would demand more rights than just eight. You can keep adding your amendments in our comments.

4 Responses to “The Cats’ Bill Of Rights”

  1. Susan says:

    Maybe the cats’ Constitutional Convention is still going on, so they’ve only gotten to eight. It’s tough to get a majority.

  2. Amy says:

    Awww… my kitty used to sleep on my PC monitor until I got a laptop… I sorta miss that… good thing she has the DVR to sleep on now, or under the favorite lamp :)

  3. Karen V says:

    Nah, mine just sleep on the bed, couch, etc.

  4. kaefamily says:

    My girlfriend used to have a kitty that would sleep anywhere she was damned pleased, esp. on my head and my chest. Well, she did have a whole-hearted support of her ‘mommy’.


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