Itchmo: News For Dogs & Cats

Dogs have so much to remember throughout the day. Here is a list of just some of those things:

• The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
• I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
• I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it.
• I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

More things to remember after the jump.

• I will not throw up in the car.
• I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
• I will not lick my parents’ face after eating animal poop.
• I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
• The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
• I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
• I will not chew my parents’ toothbrush and not tell them.
• I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones.
• When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
• We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
• I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
• The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps.
• My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
• I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007 at 5:00 pm and is filed under Dogs, National Dog, Cat & Pet Info, Entertainment About Pets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.