Things That Dogs Have to Remember

Cute DogDogs have so much to remember throughout the day. Here is a list of just some of those things:

  • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
  • I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

More things to remember after the jump.

  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
  • I will not lick my parents’ face after eating animal poop.
  • I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
  • The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
  • I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
  • I will not chew my parents’ toothbrush and not tell them.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones.
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
  • We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
  • I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration.

7 Responses to “Things That Dogs Have to Remember”

  1. Bridgett says:

    Words to live by. The cat box is not a snack box. Daisy, you hear that!?!?!?

  2. e wem says:

    If I ever escape the house or leash I will not run to the lawn of the crabbiest neighbor who loves calling the city and act like Kojo the killer dog and/or poop on his lawn while he watches through the picture window

  3. Helen says:

    I will not stomp in my own poop and then run inside and smear it all over the couch.

  4. Lynn says:

    I will not “ride” the ankle of any human company.

  5. kaefamily says:

    I will not make my bed by messing it up.

  6. Diella says:

    I will not stick my entire snout into the water bowl and then proceed to drip water throughout the house

    I will not eat tons of grass outside only to cough it back up in the house

  7. Diella says:

    I will not pee and then step in it

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