What The Neuticles?

NeuticleFor all of you neutered pets out there, now you can finally (*cough*) get your balls back. Neuticles are testicular implants for any pet that has been neutered. There are three different models (serious?): NeuticleOriginals (rigid firmness) NeuticleNatural (natural firmness) and Neuticles UltraPLUS (fills like it’s liquid filled) and it comes in various sizes to fit your pet’s, uh, needs. Make sure you don’t get your toy poodle the XL size — unless he wants it. (You try writing this post with a straight face!)

Since 1995, 100,000 pets have gone through this Neuticle process. Please note that Neuticles cannot be implanted on people (it actually says this on their website), so if you were thinking of buying it for yourself, think again. But, you can buy yourself a Neuticles T-shirt, beach towel, apron, bathrobe and more (because you definitely want everyone to know about your Neuticle obsession!). Now, your pet can feel like a real man.

9 Responses to “What The Neuticles?”

  1. Joesmom says:

    omg - this is too funny and needed something like this after all the devasting recall news.

  2. ~Martha~ says:

    We needed an article such as this about now. :o) Thanks!
    (My favorite line: “You try writing this post with a straight face!”)

  3. Poppy says:

    These things will be really great for the dog whose human parents disagree on the need for neutering.
    So often the wife will want to take the dog to the doctor for the snip, but the husband has some kind of phobia about having his dog neutered and refuses to have it done, with poor consequences.
    So, the wife colludes with the vet, and the macho husband is never the wiser!!

  4. nancy says:

    could we give the fda some neuticles? :)

  5. carly says:

    I know this sounds funny, but I’ve been hearing about this for years. At the dog shows, only a purebred UN-NEUTERED dog can be shown. So how do you get around that pesky problem with your perfect, but neutered dog? And so this company was born.

  6. Wendy44 says:

    I say if you get it done when the dog is being neutered and you want to pay that extra money, knock yourself out. But to put a pet under anesthesia just to give it fake nuts is just being reckless. Anyway, I rather like not seeing the big gross nutsacks on neutered dogs, lol.

  7. Male Dog Contraceptive Implant May Soon Be Available In The US | Itchmo says:

    […] Have you had the birds and the bees talk with your dog? Now you can tell your dog to be a responsible adult and take his contraceptive. Yes, there may soon be a contraceptive implant for male dogs in the US. They all can rest a little easier that their “manhood” may not have to be removed. (If their manhood has already been removed, they can always try Neuticles.) […]

  8. The Rise And Rise Of The Pet Industry | Itchmo: Cat & Dog News says:

    […] spend on pet food, health expenses, toys, houses, beds, clothes, grooming, jewelry and even Neuticles (240,000 pairs of these have been sold) and everything else that goes into caring for and spoiling […]

  9. $41 Billion Per Year | Diary Blog of Elaine Vigneault says:

    […] spend on pet food, health expenses, toys, houses, beds, clothes, grooming, jewelry and even Neuticles (240,000 pairs of these have been sold) and everything else that goes into caring for and spoiling […]


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